oh great, really, beautiful. golden!

So, the same ex-fiance who called my father on Thanksgiving Day because they miss each other so much? Well, he and I are both back in DC again, and going to drinks tonight. Nothing too much, just Mackey's for a beer after work, but still. Slightly terrifying after months of no contact and I feel a little bit of pressure thanks to my parents' opinion of this guy. Philanderer or not, they still can't understand why I broke it off. My answer is always the same: Hello, philanderer.

Then again, I suppose I can't be taken very seriously when I say that. I have been guilty of worse. And hey, I'm Catholic, so I'm big on the guilt thing. It keeps me at my office late, it forces me to come in early, it has me holding on to weird senses of loyalty and creating connections to people and places out of thin air.

Good example: this boy... We will call him Unavailable. Well, Unavailable and I became friends recently, literally, we met just before November began, and I have seen him often since then, with the obvious exception of my trip to Rural Nowhere. Now, Unavailable is, well, unavailable in a very real sense of the word and yet I have somehow managed to convince myself that I am attached to him in some way. That it's OK when he gets protective of me, and upset when he misses me. It's not OK. Nothing has happened, neither of us would ever go there, but I still don't know how I could care for him, especially after only three weeks.

The stress of everything lately is giving me a cold sore, and I don't even know what I have to stressed about. I keep repeating this great mantra to myself "I am a single woman. I do not need to deal with men's bullshit" but it doesn't seem to be working. Single or not I am still dealing with the drama. Tomorrow I have a mental health day, I'm going to sleep in. I think I deserve it.